From 300 Guests to Saying ‘I Do’ in a Field: How Weddings Have Changed Over 20 Years

Weddings have certainly changed over the years.

Having spent more than 20 years working in hospitality and weddings, I have seen quite a few changes. Some wonderful, some interesting, and a few that would have been absolutely unheard of back in the day!

And I have to say, I love how weddings have evolved.

But God, we had some craic back in the early noughties!

When 300 guests was nothing out of the ordinary

I remember working in Cavan in the early 2000s, when having 300 guests at a wedding was nothing unusual.

And they were some weddings!

The bar would be packed, the dance floor never emptied, the music was going, and the craic was mighty.

I can nearly still hear the noise.

You would have people chatting away, downing shots at the bar, dancing the night away, and yes, believe it or not, people were actually smoking in the ballroom!

Different times altogether.

From a hospitality point of view, feeding 300 people never really fazed us. We had the whole operation down to military precision.

The real challenge was trying to get 300 people out of the bar and into the ballroom for dinner!

And then, once everyone had eaten, trying to persuade them to move again so we could turn the room around for the evening reception.

That was another story entirely.

But people were there for a good time. There was such a buzz about those weddings, and I have some wonderful memories of them.

Do I miss aspects of those days? Absolutely.

Would I want to go back to them?

No.

They were perfect for that era, and I loved them for what they were.

Tea, coffee, shortcake biscuits and straight into the bar!

When I think about the wedding experience back then, it was generally quite straightforward.

The couple would get married in the church or chapel, and guests would arrive at the hotel later in the afternoon.

There would be tea, coffee and shortcake biscuits waiting for everyone.

And then it was straight into the bar, where people made their own entertainment.

They chatted, caught up with family and friends, and the celebrations got underway.

Now, compare that with weddings today.

You might arrive to find a harpist playing, a magician entertaining the guests, garden games, a bouncy castle for the children or all sorts of lovely little touches throughout the afternoon.

Of course, some of these things existed years ago too, but I have certainly noticed them becoming much more common.

Couples are putting a lot more thought into the overall experience for their guests.

And I think that is lovely.

Imagine telling the chef in 2003 that the couple wanted a barbecue!

This is one change that always makes me laugh.

Back in the early noughties, the traditional wedding meal was exactly that. Traditional.

You had your starter, perhaps soup, roast beef or salmon for the main course, dessert, tea and coffee.

And that was generally how it was done.

If I had walked into the kitchen in 2003 and told the chef that a couple wanted a barbecue for their wedding, he would have gone for me with a knife!

There would not have been a hope of it.

Now?

A couple mentions a barbecue, and the conversation is completely different.

"Absolutely! Let's have a look at the options."

And can you imagine handing granny a rack of ribs for her wedding dinner back then?

"Where's me roast beef?"

I can nearly hear her!

But it really does show how attitudes have changed, not just among couples, but across the hospitality industry.

And one change I particularly like is how food is being incorporated throughout the day.

Rather than everyone waiting for the big traditional wedding dinner, couples are offering more substantial food at the drinks reception.

Little burgers, vol-au-vents, lovely canapés and plenty of options for people to enjoy.

The whole dining experience can be more relaxed, with food becoming part of the celebrations throughout the day rather than one big event.

Even the approach to drinks has changed.

Years ago, it was very much pints, shots and away you went!

Now I am noticing more thought being given to non-alcoholic options at drinks receptions too.

And again, I am not saying one way is better than the other.

It is simply interesting to see how things evolve.

The ceremony itself has changed too

This is something I have become particularly interested in over recent years.

For much of my hospitality career, the traditional pattern was a church or chapel wedding followed by the reception at the hotel.

Nowadays, with more couples choosing to have their ceremony at their wedding venue or in other settings, the ceremony has become much more integrated into the whole wedding experience.

Having observed weddings over the years, and more recently becoming involved in conducting ceremonies myself, I have noticed something quite lovely.

The emotional connection guests can develop during a really personal ceremony.

And when I say emotional, I do not necessarily mean everyone sitting crying!

It is more the feeling in the room.

When a couple shares their story, when their vows are personal, or when they include a symbolic ritual such as handfasting or sand blending, you can sometimes actually feel the atmosphere change.

Guests become involved in the story. They are not simply watching two people get married. They are sharing in something meaningful to them.

Of course, traditional religious ceremonies can be every bit as meaningful, particularly for couples and families of faith.

I am simply speaking about what I have personally observed through the ceremonies I have been involved in.

And I do think the atmosphere created during a ceremony can have an influence on the celebrations that follow.

Has Instagram changed weddings?

Oh, absolutely!

But I do not necessarily see that as a bad thing.

I think social media has changed how we share our experiences generally.

Years ago, we would have told stories about weddings through conversations. Now we tell those stories through photographs and videos.

And it is not just couples who want a lovely Instagram photograph. The guests do too!

There probably is an element of pressure to make everything look beautiful, or perhaps to create something even more impressive than the last wedding you attended.

But I am also noticing something else.

Couples seem increasingly interested in the atmosphere and experience rather than simply making everything look perfect.

It is not necessarily about having the most elaborate flowers or the perfectly arranged napkins.

Sometimes it is about the surroundings.

A beautiful landscape. The mountains. The coastline. A historic building with incredible light coming through the windows.

Think of the Guildhall in Derry, for example. The stained glass, the colours, the atmosphere.

You do not necessarily need elaborate decoration when the setting itself is so beautiful.

Now, perhaps some of that is influenced by my own social media algorithm and the type of weddings I am becoming more involved in.

But it is certainly something I am noticing.

And I love it.

What I love most about weddings today

If there is one thing I particularly appreciate about how weddings have changed, it is the freedom couples now have to make their day their own.

Years ago, there was a fairly established way of doing things.

You got married in the church or chapel, or you went to the registry office. You had your traditional wedding meal, followed the usual format, and generally did not veer too far from it.

And that was perfect for the time.

But now there are so many more possibilities.

Couples can explore different types of ceremonies, different locations, different food, different traditions and entirely different ways of celebrating.

I also love how attitudes have changed among families.

Things that might once have raised a few eyebrows are now being embraced by parents and grandparents.

And when you think about how much society itself has changed over the past 20 years, it really is remarkable.

We have seen enormous changes in attitudes towards relationships, individuality and how people express themselves.

The legal recognition of same-sex marriage is one of those significant changes, allowing more couples to have their relationships recognised and celebrated.

For me, one of the most beautiful developments is seeing people feel increasingly comfortable bringing who they genuinely are into their wedding day.

Whether that means a traditional celebration, a Humanist ceremony, a symbolic ritual, a small gathering or something entirely different.

There is so much more room for individuality.

And I think that is wonderful.

Big wedding, small wedding or running away to get married?

So, after all these years, which do I prefer?

To be honest, I think there is something lovely about all of them.

I have wonderful memories of those enormous Cavan weddings, with packed ballrooms, full dance floors and people partying until all hours.

And I equally appreciate the atmosphere of a small, intimate ceremony, where everyone knows one another and the whole experience feels very personal.

Then there is the Gretna Green option.

Pack a bag, run away and get married!

Although, these days, you do not necessarily have to travel very far to find somewhere absolutely beautiful.

We have spectacular locations here in Northern Ireland, from the North Coast to the Fermanagh Lakelands.

A small ceremony overlooking the ocean can be every bit as meaningful as a grand celebration with 300 guests.

It simply comes down to what feels right for the two of you.

One thing I would say to couples getting married in 2027

Remember why you are doing this.

You are marrying your person.

You are not doing it for everybody else.

Do not get so carried away with people telling you what you need, what you should have or how your wedding is supposed to look that you forget what the day is actually about.

You have choices.

You can have the big wedding, the beautiful venue, the traditional meal and the dance floor packed with everyone you love.

Or you can get married in a field on the North Coast, overlooking the ocean, with just a handful of people beside you.

Neither is more meaningful than the other.

You are still marrying the same person.

And your wedding day, however wonderful it is, is only the beginning of your life together.

It is all the days after that count.

Don't forget that.

Roisín

Bespoke Ceremonies by Roisín